Kim, who bakes the artisanal matzah I annually send to friends throughout the US, tested COVID positive in the weeks before Passover, when production usually starts.
“Brian,” she said on the phone, “I can’t make the matzah.”
Like that. No drama. No other words.
“Wow,” I said, surprised, curious as to what would happen.
She continued, “I’m learning that disappointing people isn’t as bad as the fear of disappointing them.”
Disappointing others is a feature of life.
Calling the 17 ROTBers who pre-ordered the matzah and telling them it wasn’t going to be delivered gave me a chance to practice.
And, you know what?
Kim was right.
The fear of disappointing them was worse than the actual disappointment.
***
Brene Brown:
Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.
***
We can’t be all things to all people.
We need to practice disappointing people.
Here’s a helpful thing to remember:
Disappointing people is hardly ever immoral.
It’s just what humans do..
***
Go. Be disappointing.
***
Post Script:
I thought I was done with this article.
The universe did not.
My wonderful Annie asked me for something beyond the limit of what I wished to give.
Writing this article was much easier than saying “No, honey, I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
***
ROTB’S WEEKLY GATHERING
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Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer doesn’t rabbi normally. He left the synagogue to teach math to inner-city high school students. And, then founded ROTB.org — a worldwide, internet congregation of over 3,500 members. He enjoys constructing small bios about himself, making stained glass lamps, and gaining mastery on the French horn. He lives in Portland, Oregon.
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