A few days ago, I asked my Twitter followers: “Is death-by-Lent a thing?” I can’t remember a time – other than a book tour – when I’ve spent so much time speaking and teaching.

Even though I’m tired, I’ve had an extraordinary Lent this year. I preached all five Lenten Sundays, and led multiple mid-week events. Throughout, I’ve been teaching themes of “A Grateful Lent,” weaving together my work on gratitude and this holy season of the Christian year. When I began this journey, I did not know how beautifully Lent lends itself to a spirituality of gifts, generosity, grace, and gratitude. I’ve always struggled with Lent as a time of repentance and sacrifice – and I’ve often avoided many Lenten practices. But this year, as I explored Lent’s invitation into abundance and giving, my eyes and heart opened to understand Jesus’ story in surprising ways.

One of the moments that meant the most to me was reading Matthew 20:1-16, the parable of the laborers in the vineyard. At the end of the story, after the vineyard owner pays all his workers the same wage whether they worked 10 hours or just one, he asks those who are grumbling about unfairness: “Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because of my generosity?”

Are you envious because of my generosity? The question seemed to jump off the page. Far too often, I have felt envious because someone got something I felt I was entitled to – and I realized that I, like the laborers in the vineyard, begrudge God’s generosity. And, of course, envy and entitlement are major impediments when it comes to living a truly grateful life.

God gives gifts – wildly, outrageously, and extravagantly. The biblical texts of Lent recounted stories of God’s bounty, unbounded hospitality, and surprising provision. These were not passages warning of impending judgment and urging repentance. Instead, they were stories inviting attentive listeners to celebrate abundance and live a radical path of thanksgiving.

My preaching in the last five weeks has usually landed in the same place: We can choose. Choose to live in a myth of scarcity or choose to embrace the way of a gifting God. I realized how much agency we have – that we really can decide to which story we devote ourselves. And, oddly enough, despite traveling so much (even while fighting a cold!), I felt more joy this Lent than in any previous. I had a kind of Lenten metanoia this year.

Now, we are past the five weeks and have arrived in Holy Week. We typically think of this as a week of great grief and sadness, of the heaviness of the cross and execution. It is that, of course. But I think it is something else as well. When we choose the way of scarcity – a way that sets us against one another – betrayal and death are the result. If we choose the other way – the path of abundant life – we may have wound up with a different story. What if the story of this last week of Jesus hadn’t been one of fear and envy? What if the disciples had followed the way of say, Mary of Bethany or the Prodigal Son? What if this last week had been marked by gratitude and joy? Would death have been undone without violence? Would the Table stand in lieu of a cross?

Those are the questions of a writer, of course. My imagination runs wild with hope at the possibility of human beings who threw their arms open toward God’s generosity without fear, without envy, and without doubt. What if we had said “yes” to grace before the cross? What would the world be like?

The good news is that even though we failed to accept the invitation of a wildly gifting God – God overcame our failure with love. Even betrayal and violence cannot stop God’s generosity. And for that, I’m grateful.