In the 1970’s I worked at a residential facility for juvenile delinquents, where the residents sometimes slipped out and scampered to the local gas station to buy illicit cigarettes. One such kid returned breathlessly, only to face me. She had tried to stuff the cigarette pack in her bra, but half of it was clearly outlined in her T shirt. When I accused her of buying cigarettes she wailed (with tears), “I didn’t, sir. Honest I didn’t”. I could only gape and lead her to a female staff member to disprove her instinctive, adamant denial of her blunder.

In “Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)”, Carol Trevis and Elliot Aronson examine how and why we ‘justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions and hurtful acts’. They give numerous examples of how even world leaders simply refuse to face the consequences of their irrefutable botches, by evading responsibility. People use the passive voice—mistakes were made—as a perfect tool for their self-deception; whereas “I made mistakes” requires a personal reality check. To avoid reality checks we ignore our cognitive dissonance—conflicting influences that cause psychological discomfort; smokers who don’t quit despite knowing the dangers of lung cancer, for example. To avoid change, we invent self-excusing justifications: ‘I’ll switch to smoking lights’. The clear information about the serious consequences of smoking gets colored by how we interpret it: self-justification preempts rational thought. If we acknowledge the tensions that exist between contrary ideas, beliefs or opinions, it upsets our stubborn psychological conventions. To remove beguiling dissonance and install cognitive constancy we must employ intentional revisions until ‘I have stopped smoking’. (Cognitive Dissonance).

Additionally, in order to remain constant to our entrenched assumptions, we hide behind blind spots that allow confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is our inclination to process new information so that it fits our pre-existing notions. Warren Buffett continually fights against it, “What the human being is best at doing, is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.” (How Warren Buffett Avoids Getting Trapped by Confirmation Bias).

Another obstruction to reality is our own state of being. When we feel hungry, tired, lonely, bored, stressed or vulnerable in other ways, we more easily fight, flee or fawn to deflect, rather than accept troubling pressures. In order to make sense of things we tell ourselves whatever we need to; often with flawed memories, skewed perceptions, and inadequate knowledge. In “The Invisible Gorilla: How Our Intuitions Deceive Us”, Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons show that our personal evaluations are based on illusory versions of events, not on what actually happens: memories are likely to be significantly distorted. We tend to function with the assumption that that we know more than we do and that we are better than we are. And we sometimes attribute a cause and effect relationship to what are coincidences or at best correlations. We all see the world as it isn’t (Seeing the world as it isn’t, Daniel Simons/TED).

Although our denials, evasions and minimizations sometimes delude us, we are basically rational, mostly moral and often reasonable; and we remain lovable, capable and forgivable. We seek to improve, and strive for what is right. But it bodes us well to acknowledge that our limited minds are too partial to supply objective views about ourselves, others or situations. Our self-justifications, personalized preferences and subjective notions can always benefit from a candid reality check.

About the Author Richard Holdsworth

Because I became frustrated with my church (nr. Philadelphia, USA) for refusing to discuss progressive views, I have started an independent forum. Its aim is to make ancient values more relevant to our current age. I intend to post regular bulletins from myself and other contributors. I will use modern language, psychologically sound principles and contemporary themes to develop well established precepts that are relevant for contemoporay society. The posts will also include “transfaith” prayers and meditations. I hope you will join me in this venture and help me to spread and develop new perspectives on consistently sustained wisdom.

To be added to Bulletin List Email Richard at: realmsofday@gmail.com