Q: By Martin
I am officially a Roman Catholic. Over the past 10 years I have suffered a number of adverse life experiences which have seriously weakened the aforementioned faith. Basically I am still sort of Christian. What I believe is that the very early church i.e. “Gnostics” got it right as regards such things as having to subscribe to a detailed set of beliefs, variations in human sexuality. I was taught that the Emperor Constantine “saved Christianity “. I believe that he changed it from a group of “seekers after truth” to a bunch of “yes men”. I believe that what we have in “mainstream” Christianity today is what Bishop Spong described as the “winning side” rather than the “right side”. I’m old. I’m not as incapacitated as some people of my age. But, strangely enough, I still care about what I believe in. Please Help !
A: By Kevin G. Thew Forrester, PhD
Dear Martin,
I am wondering about what you have suffered over these past ten years and its impact upon your heart, mind, and body. I’m also aware of the ageism that plagues our culture and its assumption that with age inevitably comes incapacity, rather than perspective, generosity, and a graceful latitude.
What I hear arising from your words is possibly an awakening of the heart that also carries within it a sense of loss. I am curious about your understanding of personal evolution with “weakened…faith.” I am impressed by the courage to question the assumed belief-set of your formative years. Clearly, the life of your soul, as expressed in your inquisitive mind and your heart of care, has not remained static. I hear words of someone who has been willing to allow their experience of suffering to school their soul and grow even if it has meant leaving behind the security of once held doctrine (and perhaps relationships). It would seem that pursuing truth is more important to you than conformity to hollow beliefs. If so, that is a blessing. If this impression is accurate, then my sense is that while your “belief” in antiquated teachings is diminishing, at the same time your authentic faith is maturing. And maturation, whenever and however it occurs, involves “loss” of what we have previously taken ourselves to be.
A final observation: One of the gifts of the internet is discovering kindred souls on life’s spiritual journey. I would encourage you to avail yourself of this “great cloud of witnesses” – courageous and creative people who can listen, converse, and be of support.
~ Kevin G. Thew Forrester, PhD
About the Author
Kevin G. Thew Forrester, Ph.D. is an Episcopal priest, a student of the Diamond Approach for over a decade, as well as a certified teacher of the Enneagram in the Narrative Tradition. He is the founder of the Healing Arts Center of in Marquette, Michigan, and the author of five books, including I Have Called You Friends, Holding Beauty in My Soul’s Arms, and My Heart is a Raging Volcano of Love for You and Beyond my Wants, Beyond my Fears: The Soul’s Journey into the Heartland. Visit Kevin’s Blog: Essential Living: For The Soul’s Journey.
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