Did you know that by 2050 that this world we live in could have a population of 10 billion people? (National Geographic, December 2017) that’s three times as many people as there was 50 years ago.

I was 33-years old 50 years ago and wasn’t too much aware of the inhabitants of this world; and at that age I hadn’t ventured anywhere other than the surroundings where I lived. Now 50 years later, I am overwhelmed by what we are blessed to have on this Earth. I’m grateful for all the knowledge that has been passed on to me by other people. In this world of modern technology we can hold in our hands a gadget that can show us just about all of these wonders or we can see them on our computers or television. Not just a description of the times, but actual photographs of so many natural wonders of the world, including people, animals and nature.

It got me to thinking about what kind of a person I am and feeling very guilty about it. Here I am, in a house of 2,400 square feet, rooms I don’t even go into on a daily basis; property that I can no longer maintain myself, but need help; and food and clothing so plentiful that it could probably take care of many others for a long time. What kind of person am I? I thought I was a spiritual person, and was motivated by a particular person who lived in this world over 2,000 years ago and I pretty much have lived my life by the motto, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Now that I really think about it, I really don’t do “unto others.”

I cannot seem to want to give up anything. So who am I? Just one of many millions of folks that live like I do. I’ve raised five children; was married 53 years; have a few nice friends, but many of my friends have died; and overall am considered a “good person” by some. So what am I trying to say?

I said I was a spiritual person. By that I mean I always had Christianity in the forefront of my life. My parents weren’t religious so didn’t teach me much about that at home, but I went to church on and off with a neighboring family, then I met my husband in high school and went to church with him. We married young and he became a practicing Lutheran pastor for 12 years, but was on the clergy roster for 20, and during those times I played the role of a pastor’s wife, but always had many questions about Christianity which I didn’t understand. It led me to do a lot of reading and taking courses about my faith and to this day I am still reading and questioning. The conclusion I have come to is that since all religions are man made, who’s to say I can’t have my own beliefs? No one really knows anyone’s inner thoughts, but we usually follow the path of something or someone who makes sense to us. Sad to say I look at Christianity much differently than I did when I was a young person. I think that the statistics that Christianity is said to be the most believed religion in the world; Hinduism is the second and oldest. However, I think all religions hoodwink people: some make them fear “God” and they are afraid if they don’t behave they will be punished. One also says that if we’re “good” (whatever that means) we will come back as another form of life. So if you’re bad your might come back as a bug, but if you’re good you might come back as another human being. If you apply common sense to your thinking you won’t believe any of that.

People who were persecuted for following a belief that was different than a state-sanctioned church founded this country; and the founding fathers gave us the right to religious freedom because our beliefs are our own; they are personal and we use these beliefs to guide the way we live. We have no business telling others that their beliefs are wrong and they are damned if they don’t believe the way we do.

That is what has happened to me. After much studying, many tenents of the Christian church I can no longer believe in. The main one is believing that Jesus was/is God. I do believe there was a Jesus, but I put him in a category by himself. He was a little different, however, as according to the scriptures he had no worldly goods, and no place to lay his head. Of course this is debatable. I still believe in a higher power, but I don’t picture that higher power as a person. Another thing I’ve learned is the whole concept of Jesus dying on the cross for the sins of the world didn’t come into being until the 4th Century under Constantine. Jesus died because he went against the government of his day, and the Jews wanted him crucified to pay for what he did. Sounds a little like today’s times.

Getting back to what I said about sharing and how I feel guilty not sharing my possessions. How can a religion charge people for believing a certain way? Shouldn’t what they want them to believe be free? If you tried to figure out all the money the institutions of churches, synagogues, worship facilities, etc. rake in – there is more money involved than any other type of institution. If they really practiced what they preached they would do 100% of what they say – free. They don’t even pay taxes. That’s one thing I don’t understand. Some of them have interests in other things and yet they get away from paying taxes. (Jehovah’s Witness does pay taxes.)

Last Sunday after watching the last 20 minutes of Meet the Press, I went into my office in another room and began writing this article. A Methodist church service came on and I heard a familiar hymn that piqued my interest. So I went back to the television out of curiosity to listen/see what the service was all about. I had the sensation that I was back 50 years in time. The same hymns, the same ambience of the church surroundings, the pastor didn’t say anything that I haven’t heard in church a hundred times. Now I know why I don’t attend a church; now I know why I don’t believe like I used to. The Christian church has not “grown up” as to what Christianity is all about. They are thinking and doing the same things that went on all those years ago. I venture to say if it wasn’t for folks leaving the church large sums of money when they die, that many churches could not keep their doors open. I know what I’m saying is debatable, but I know there are many people out there that happen to agree with me. However, in saying all of this, each one of us has to decide just what we believe. Let no one tell you what you have to believe in order to be at peace with yourself.

Because we are here – God’s DNA is in all of us, and he gave us a mind and a conscious and a passion for life to live it to the fullest. Keep your heart and mind open to all that surrounds you and figure out for yourself what is important in life. Be glad that you were able to witness this wonderful world the short time you will be here.